The voice of the not-so-silent majority

Friday 22 February 2008

In the "chambers of memory"- Neshe Yashin


Sevgul Uludag

Until she said it, perhaps it was not so crystal clear that you cannot divide love... Neshe Yashin uttered the first words, to make a stamp on our hearts and remain there for so manyyears because peace is still elusive:`One should love ones homelandSo says my fatherBut my homeland is divided into twoWhich part should I love?`She was refusing to love one part or the other. As a Cypriot poet, there was no `one part` tolove, she loved the whole...Her life reflected this because these words were not slogans, it was her essence. This is how shefelt, this is how she moved, this is how she loved... There could be no division in love... Youcould not divide love, even if you did, again love would come out of the `division` as she said inone of her poems...She `crossed` the division because this was the only way for love to survive. And love was theonly thing that could make us realize our utopia: that Cyprus was one and only, one you could notdivide... Her life was like almost any other life of a Cypriot, affected by the conflict... She was born in1959, the dark years of EOKA and TMT, heading towards bloody confrontation. Her family was fromthe Peristerona village, a place of peace and tranquillity in the beginning... As the conflictgrew in 1963, they were displaced and started living in Nicosia. Her father, Ozker Yashin was afamous poet, journalist and activist at the time... He was the leader for the Turkish Cypriotrefugees of 1963... He published poems of war and suffering, poems widely read at the time... Hepublished a newspaper called `Savash` meaning `War`... These were the years of conflict... Neshesbrother Zeki was born in 1960 but in 1963, as her mother Jale expected another baby and was readyto deliver, there was no way out of the village Peristerona... Two Turkish Cypriots decided tobring her to Nicosia for the birth of the baby but on the way they were arrested by EOKA asprisoners of war and Neshes mother and grandmother were brought to Nicosia General Hospital...The name given to the baby born under such conditions was `Savash` (War). Later a Greek Cypriotman helped to smuggle her back to Peristerona with the grandmother and the baby... So as Sartrehas said, `Hell is other people` but `Heaven is also other people` we can add. Because you couldfind the darkness but also the light, the crime but also goodness in `other people`. Later, hermother had another baby girl under better conditions, so they called her `Barish` which means`Peace`. She was born in 1972 and they named her `Peace` to reflect the desire for peace on theisland. One baby was `War`, perhaps with the new baby called `Peace`, peace would finally come tothe island...We were friends since childhood  Kutlu Adali, the murdered journalist (my sisters husband) hadopened `an account` for me in her fathers bookshop. Even though my mother was a librarian and Igrew up in the library, books were not enough for me! I used to go to the `Ozker Yashin Bookshop`to get books and Neshe used to come to the library. Books were not enough for her either! We werereading, she was writing poems from a very small age like 3 or 4... As soon as she learnt to walkand talk she started writing I guess, because these are what poets are made of: words to describelove, suffering, words to describe the unseen world by others, the unnoticed or repressedfeelings, the flow of life and everything that surrounds us...Later we went to the same school and were in the same class: The English College... We wouldcompete together in poetry competitions and would write notes to each other in class. Sometimes wewould argue and not speak with each other  we were growing up with all the pain and sufferingaround us, all the poverty and misery... But with all the love and joy of being young and reachingout to the impossible because thats what dreams are made of and so long as youre alive, as Chehas said `Be realistic, ask for the impossible!` In 1970 her father was elected to the Turkish Cypriot parliament as an MP and we would go togetherto the makeshift parliament (the building is now the headquarters of the National Unity Party UBP Eroglus party). We would sit and listen to the arguments, discussions and we would be the onlykids in the Turkish Cypriot parliament. We would sit at the back of the room and try to understandthe issues and politics at the time, sometimes giggling and sometimes getting bored and going backto the library or to her fathers bookshop to find more interesting things to talk about or reador write or do our homework. At one time, we had exactly the same shoes: they were red and wewould admire our new red shoes!In 1976 she went to Turkey for her university education, later got married there and had a babywhom she called `Hazar`. She only returned to the island in 1985. These were the darkest years forour progressive struggle  the regime was very arrogant... You could not find a job, even if youdid, you would be thrown out after some time because of your political views, activism  thebiggest sin was saying `Yes, we can live together with Greek Cypriots` and Neshe was one of theones committing this `sin`: ` One should love ones homeland/So says my father/But my homeland isdivided into two/Which part should I love?` She suffered like many of us: From 1985 till 1997, shedid odd jobs to survive on the island... She would write and be in headlines of the newspapers ofthe regime... She would write and be thrown out of her job... She was a teacher for one year atLapta Secondary School (Lapithos) on a temporary contract but the regime could only put up withher for a year... In punishment of what she was saying out loud, her contract was not renewed. Itwas the time when we set up the `Womens Movement for Peace and a Federal Solution` and the attackof the regime on the women, calling us `names` and trying to make us the `laughing stock` of thecommunity, trying to marginalize us and finally punish us... My husband, myself, Neshe and otherswere all unemployed... You could not find jobs even in the private sector  the regime took careof that and there are letters when my husband had applied for a job in the private sector:`Because of your effective past, we cannot employ you!`You could not take credit from the banks either, to start a business:`Why dont you go to your party?` they would say and humiliate you... The regime did not have toput you in prison  they would destroy your economic means of survival so that you would leave...She had committed another `big sin` while she was in the northern part  she had run a`conscientious objection campaign` for Salih Askeroglu. Salih had refused to go to serve in thearmy  he is the only one so far... How dare he refused to go to the army? And how dare Neshehelped organize this campaign? I remember that those were one of her worst times in Cyprus  theregime openly had her followed by secret police and the army, harrassed her friends and everyonewas afraid to come to contact with her... They stole her address book, terrified everyone aroundher and tried to completely isolate her... This was one of the darkest time of her life in thenorthern part. In 1997 Neshe decided to go to the southern part of the island  this was her biggest `crossing`.She would be going to a different environment but it would still be her homeland. Previously whenshe wanted to `cross` she depended on `permission` from the military authorities to `cross thedivision`. Many times we went to the Ledra Palace check-point to see if there was `permission` forus to `cross` since they would never tell us beforehand, if we would be `allowed` to cross or not.We would be arranging meetings with Greek Cypriot women or would be doing activities for peace andmany times we would be refused the `permission` to cross. As a way out, we would try to arrangemeetings abroad which was difficult, costly, time-consuming. In order to `cross` from Nicosianorth to Nicosia south, Neshe would be flying to Istanbul to Athens to Larnaca or Istanbul toLondon to Larnaca and back... Since our homeland was one and a whole in our hearts, to speak tothose living in `the other part of the island` was an essential necessity  we would be lackinghalf of us if we chose only to look into our own `part`... Neshe started living in the southern part  many of us could not understand it at the beginning this was a big taboo... Later we all started comprehending what she was trying to do... She waschallenging a taboo in our brains that `Turkish Cypriots should live in the north and GreekCypriots in the south`. How could a Turkish Cypriot live in the south and still be a TurkishCypriot who loved her country? Wasnt this a scandal? It took time for all to get used to thisidea  she was setting an example that no one had dared before... A year after she went to thesouth, she found a teaching job in the university and now that she was in the southern part, shehad the task to connect with the northern part, always trying to maintain her relationships, herfriendships and her voice that would speak to us closely even though she was beyond the `barbedwire`. And it did not matter where she lived because she was still the `target` of the regime... Eventhough Dervish Ali Kavazoglu was murdered four decades ago and buried in his grave in Dali, therestill is a campaign by the regime against him... Even though the lawyers Ahmet Muzaffer Gurkan andAyhan Hikmet who published the newspaper CUMHURIYET have been killed by the regime four decadesago and buried in their graves, even today there is a campaign against them... So it did notmatter that Neshe lived in the southern part  she still had a voice and an influence in all ofCyprus so she had to be stopped and marginalized... So the dirty campaigns against her continued.When her novel `The Secret Story of Sad Girls` came out two years ago, all the erotic parts fromthe novel was `copied and pasted` together and a big campaign ran against her, claiming that shewas telling her own sex life and encouraging the Greek Cypriot and Turkish Cypriot youth to havesex together! Even Rauf Denktash made a statement during this dirty campaign, accusing her andmaking her a target...The `opening` of the checkpoints in April 2003 changed her energy: `Because of this division itwas as though there was a block in my energy but now everything flows, I can feel it even in mybody` she told me in an interview... She was in Istanbul during the `opening` and I called her tocome back...`Come on Neshe, you cant miss this!` I had Robert and Lilian with me, two young filmmakers fromBerlin who were making a movie about her life. So she flew to the north, crossed to the south withRobert and Lilian, went to her house, took a shower, changed her clothes and came back to thenorth! This was like a miracle for her  now she could `cross` any time she wanted and stayanywhere she wanted... `For me, unification is the unification of people... I dont care aboutstates and percentages, our country is not a company, I care about other things, about how peoplewill be reunified...` she said... This week we recieve news from her on the e-mail that her new book of poems called `The Chambersof Memory` has just come out in Istanbul... On her birthday, 12th of February, there will be acocktail party in honor of her new book in Istanbul... And on the 15th of February, we will go tolisten to her new poetry, the poetry she put together after the `opening` of the checkpoints,together with the ones she wrote before...Once, in her poem called THE BIG WORD she wrote:`When the poem utters the big wordall the weapons will hush at once,the word that's the voice ofthe spilled blood and the cry of sufferingthe word that's uttered by the chorus of the deadand by the exiled crowd of history.It will be whispered by the flowerthe weeping cloud in the sky the rapturous waves of the seaand the childred who do not wantto join the army.That day, a new love will emergefrom the foams of the seathat is distinct in nationality.War will die of shameas the silence starts taking revenge from historyand the magic wordswill kiss the wind of love.IF being disloyal to the halfwill bring me the whole native landyour nationalism will be a cuckold's eggI shall betray youeven with your bloody armies after meI shall make love with all the enemiesI shall betray youon all the continents of this earth.When the poem utters the big wordall the deals and negotiationswill come to an end with nothing left to sayall the mediators will be unemployed.The history will surrenderunder that big word which carriesthe stars and the riversthe endless love making of all timesthe sounds, the rain, and the seas.When the big wordwill be uttered by the poemeither all the poets will be executedor peace will descend on earth.`So she will be speaking to us from her `Chambers of Memory` and here is one of the poems from hernew book that she sent to me: My premonition about the light rising inside meWho knows perhapswhile you shot at the barricadesthat killed our house (home)I used to mellow into a childish sadnessdeaths passing through my deep sighsI knew back thenone day you would steal my soulWhile I ran off to the spaces between stairscrying over family murdersit whispered dreams of the futurethe light born(rising) inside me(my premonition about the light)Three angels appearedone brought a red poppythe second a gentle kiss from youthe third was empty handedembarrassed looked me in the faceAnd then the ghosts of martyrschased me in their blood soaked clothesmy history teacherread out lies at the gates of HeavenI waited for such a long long time for youin desolate Babylon towersTake off your soldiers clothesand come close to megive me three babies from the souls of the deadOne to make me forget all painthe other to console the earththe third to wander the city in the nightand hold crying mothers by the hand`(*) Article published in the ALITHIA newspaper on the 30th of January, 2005.

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